We Care Not
by AHeartForStories
Summary: On Berk, children quickly learned that their friends weren't there to stay. Harsh Winters, famines, illnesses, dragons, so many of them didn't make it to the age of ten. Sure, Hiccup made it to be fifteen. But why care about him? He was a runt, destined to be taken from them sooner or later. Why open up their hearts to him, why care, when all that would lead to is even more hurt?
1. We Care Not

_Had this one sitting in my list of "fics to post" for ages because I was never sure if I should post it. Not quite sure whether this one counts as whump or not either. Or how to even properly tag this one._

_Also, this is based on a headcanon I found on Tumblr about Berk dying before Hiccup met Toothless._

_Constructive criticism is highly appreciated._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**We Care Not**

Astrid remembered having a friend once. A dear friend.

She was four, like Astrid was at the time. Their birth had been almost days apart. Because of this, they celebrated them together.

Her hair was as black as charred wood and ended at her shoulders, just like her mother's. It wasn't often Vikings kept their hair short, but they did. Her eyes were a clear blue, like a rare sunny sky. She was the most fun of all her friends.

Second only to Hiccup, who could draw and made such pretty pictures with charcoal and paper, with sticks and in dirt.

Named Unn, she always came up with the most fun games. Her energy was endless and she never failed to make them all laugh. The memories Astrid kept of her, they were bright. The few times she took a moment to remember her, she would smile.

Unn was small, though. Her legs and arms were as spindly as thin tree branches. Or more like twigs. Not as small as Hiccup, but there was barely a difference between the two. She wasn't even an inch taller than him and everybody was taller than him.

Sometimes they played on the plaza, other times they played in the forest right outside the village, the beach was also a fun place to be. When they were daring enough, they would even go up to Mildew's cabbage patch at the edges of the village. It was always Unn who suggested teasing the old man. He was mean to the village children.

She was an innocent girl. A playful girl.

When her life was taken, it was during a raid. Not by dragons, but by other people. The Winterbeards, a tribe of hardened Norsemen and women who sought resources that they didn't have and stole them from other islands.

Astrid didn't know until the morning after the fighting. When those that couldn't defend themselves, like them, were allowed out of hiding and she wondered why Unn and her mother never joined them in the Great Hall.

She never got to say goodbye. They never got to play again. So sudden had Unn been taken away from her.

* * *

There was once a little boy on Berk by the name of Ivar and he was Snotlout's best friend. Strong, husky, boisterous, he was the dream son any Viking couple would've loved to have. He was a big one ever since the day of his birth.

The two of them were always up to no good. They'd get in trouble, either with Mildew or other Vikings on Berk. Several times they had also sought out the dangers in the forests outside of the village. Usually ended up running at the smallest of sounds too.

Out of all his friends, Snotlout thought he was the best.

There was a harsh Winter one time. Not the harshest ever, but harsh enough. On their island, that particular season was followed by an Eel Pox epidemic. Every single year, again and again, without fail.

Little Ivar got sick. Many of the Hooligans did. It took Gothi much too long to receive the ingredients necessary for a cure. More than half of the crew send out with a longboat to gather them got sick on the way, delaying their journey further.

One afternoon six-year-old Snotlout walked up to Ivar's house to ask if he was all better and if he could come out to play yet. What he found were two mourning parents instead.

Neither Ivar, nor his little sister, Inge, had made it.

* * *

The Thorston twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, they once had an older brother.

Like most Nuts, that is exactly what his name ended on. The thing with him was, his name was Nutnut. "Nut The Nut" they used to call him. Or simply, "Nut" for short.

He wasn't like other Thorstons. He wasn't the epitome of chaos and trouble. In fact, he was quite calm. Shy even! When the twins were five, Nutnut was already on his way to puberty.

He was a caring big brother. Always looked out for his younger siblings, got them out of any trouble they may end up in, made sure they ate and washed and slept on time. The twins were a handful and they knew it. When their mother needed a helping hand, with no supportive fathers in their lives, Nut was always there. He was a loving son.

During one bad dragon raid, Nut couldn't find his siblings.

Unaware of the dangers they were putting themselves in, Ruff and Tuff followed the fire brigade around instead of staying hidden like all the others who were told to hide.

Nut spend so long finding them, evading dragons and their fire left and right until he was unfortunate enough to cross paths with a Monstrous Nightmare in a ruined part of the village where there were no adults around.

There wasn't enough left to identify him with.

* * *

Fishlegs' interest for books and dragons, it was greatly influenced by another girl in the village.

Dagny was a cousin of his and like many of the members in his family, she was a hefty girl. Vikings would say she had the promise to be a brawny one later in life, but she was much more of a brainy one instead.

Families were close on Berk and Dagny often read books together with Fishlegs and his older sister, who often told them many stories. Dagny and Fishlegs were of the same age. Dagny was only a few weeks older.

Nobody talks about Dagny anymore. Her passing due to a famine caused by the dragons was a painful one. Dagny's parents, they didn't last long after her death. Many believed they followed her to the next world, a broken heart too much to bear.

* * *

There were twenty-five of them. That Winter, Hiccup was the first of twenty-five babies born the following twenty-four months.

A lot of them didn't make it to their first year. More died by the time they were five. When Hiccup reached the age of ten, once again the first of that season, the six of them were all that remained.

It didn't hurt. At some point, waking up one morning and finding out another friend had died became commonplace.

They took it as a lesson. A lesson that caring hurt far worse than not caring did.

And so they all stopped.

"Guys!"

Astrid remembered having a friend once. A dear friend. Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Fishlegs, they all remembered.

His name was Hiccup. He was fun, he could draw, he was really smart, but he was also small.

He was born too early. When a famine struck he was always one of those most affected. Every year during "Eel Pox Week", Gothi called it a miracle he wasn't taken back by the Gods. With each new attack by either dragon or man, he needed to hide because he couldn't defend himself. Unlike the other kids, he couldn't even lift up a bola. He was the most defenseless.

He was the next one. They were all sure of it.

"Guys?" On his eight birthday, three years after Snotlout started picking on him and two years before their very last friend died, Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut also decided to stop playing with him.

It was easier to stop caring for him than it was to care and lose him too.

Hiccup met them on the plaza that day, as he always did once his father finally let him go.

They didn't listen to his calls, ignored his requests to play, they pretended he didn't exist at all as they walked away.

The following days and onwards, he would notice they were starting to be mean to him too. Like Uncle Spitelout and some of the other adults.

There was little Hiccup could do, but watch them leave him behind as they decided to play elsewhere. Away from him. And it hurt.

* * *

The remaining oldest children of Berk, now all fifteen and fourteen years of age, they met up to train together in the woods. They'd seen Astrid go there to practice with her axe and simply followed her there. Dragon training was about to begin for them soon, they wanted to train too.

Although, for the twins and Snotlout that meant fooling around. For Fishlegs, it wasn't so much as "training" as it was avoiding the three others as they picked on him. As for Astrid, she didn't get much done when the other teens refused to leave her alone.

As they made their way back home, practice quickly forgotten, Astrid's gaze caught the sight of Hiccup as he worked at the forge as Gobber's apprentice.

Her axe swung over one shoulder, she took a moment to watch as he gathered some swords and struggled to hold them all in his arms.

When they fell, he threw his arms up in exasperation and Astrid felt a sigh escape her. A sigh of disappointment.

Briefly, their eyes met and Hiccup froze up. He only stood there for about a solid second before he ducked behind the counter awkardly. Either to hide or pick up the swords he'd dropped.

When was the last time they'd talked? Not as friends, but as mere acquaintances?

Astrid realized she didn't care. She didn't mourn the friendship they used to have and lost so many years ago now.

She didn't care. None of them did.

Hiccup was going to die sooner or later. All their previous friends had and many of them had been much bigger and stronger than him. Being friends with the heir only meant pain in the future. It was easier not too care.

She joined the other teens again. The ones who made an inkling of a chance of making it to adulthood in this world. She wouldn't say she was friends with them, but they were all headed into the same direction and they were about the only others of her age. Who else was she going to hang out with?

They were heading towards the Great Hall for supper. They headed there, not knowing that this would be the night Hiccup would shoot down a Night Fury, changing Berk for the better.


	2. We Care, But At What Price?

_Summary: Sequel to "We Care Not". As Hiccup lies sick in bed, the other Riders reflect a little on the past they share with him and how overly protective they are of him now._

_Sequel that was written quite a while ago, but never posted. Might take this idea to dabble with it in a different fic someday._

_Constructive criticism is appreciated._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**We Care, But At What Price**

"This is stupid. This is so, so stupid."

Astrid finds herself shushing Hiccup's shaky mumblings as she dabs his forehead with a soaked cloth. It is sweaty and she can feel the heat radiating through the layer separating her hand and his skin.

Hiccup is lying in bed before her on a stack of furs and blankets, all gathered from the other Riders. He wears only a single layer of clothing in spite of the cold Winter plaguing the Edge. His armor hangs forgotten on the back of a chair on the ground floor.

"I should be out there doing patrols or think of something to stop Viggo, not be stuck here in bed." There is a certain resentment in his tone that Astrid doesn't quite appreciate, she resists the urge to demand that he apologize to himself.

That kind of anger, she knows it is directed at only one man in this room and, besides her, the single other presence here is Toothless and Astrid is certain Hiccup can never be mad at him.

Her free hand is held in both of his own on his stomach.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It's just a fever." She tries to tell him and Toothless rumbles in agreement. The Night Fury is taking up all the space on one side of the bed. Ever since his Rider has fallen ill, he hasn't left much. He worries.

"I shouldn't be having a fever. I'm not a kid anymore, I shouldn't be getting sick every Winter." Still Hiccup argues, his voice cracks. Even with the fire warming his hut, his woolen tunic, the dragon, and the covers, he shivers terribly.

He doesn't get sick as often as he used to when he was a growing boy, but when he does this always happens. The times Hiccup does fall ill, he falls hard.

Astrid sighs when she hears his comment. Indeed, the Winters here in the Archipelago are never kind to Hiccup. If he isn't sick, then the cold is taking its toll on his leg or some other old injury of his. And then there is also Devastating Winter.

"It's okay to get sick, Hiccup. You wouldn't be giving us such a bad time if we were stuck in bed." That shuts him up, at least. He can't argue with her about that, he knows she is right.

Instead, Hiccup lets his eyes fall closed. He sniffs, his nose is clogged. His cheeks feel so unbearably hot.

Astrid will never admit it to him out loud, but she does find herself worrying during the coldest seasons on Berk. Devastating Winter especially. It wasn't given this name for no reason.

If there is a season cold enough to keep even the Hooligans of Berk indoors for days or weeks at a time, cold enough to keep even the dragons inside, it is certainly that. Before the Edge, whenever she was stuck inside, Astrid would often find herself guilty of sitting around and worrying about Hiccup.

She often wondered as she sat there sharpening her dagger at the fire, was he lying sick in bed? As she ate dinner with her family, was Stoick trying to get some food into his ill son in the meantime? As she checked up on Stormfly, was Toothless watching over his Rider day and night?

Every time Devastating Winter allowed Berk to set foot outside again, it was a relief to her to see him alive and well.

Oddly enough, it wasn't a concern she ever had for the other Riders. And not because she didn't care for them, because she did and a lot more than she let on.

Grabbing the pitcher standing on a stool next to her, Astrid notices that it is empty. Time to grab some more water.

"I'm going to get some more water. I'll be right back." She tells Hiccup, even though he probably isn't conscious anymore, judging by his calm breathing. He may have dozed off.

Which is a good thing, he needs his rest and his body demands it. She lets him sleep.

Astrid briefly scratches Toothless behind an ear fin and walks down from their loft with the pitcher in hand. Downstairs, she meets with the other Riders, who are all gathered in Hiccup's hut.

There is a snowfall going on outside and so it is warmer to stay inside. She knows even the Dragons are huddled together over at their stables. She also knows that there is only one reason why the others are here and it isn't quite because of the weather.

Fishlegs is reading at the table and so is Tuffnut, though the latter isn't as into it as the former is. His face is lying on it. Ruffnut and Snotlout are playing Maces and Talons in one corner, though neither of them are all that interested in their game either.

As Astrid comes down, Fishlegs looks up.

"Is he sleeping?" He asks, putting his book down.

"Yeah, he is." She answers and makes her way over to a barrel with water. Opening the top, she lowers the pitcher into it to bring back up with her.

Ever since Hiccup fell sick two days earlier, he's been drifting in and out of sleep. He is feverish, he is coughing almost continuously, but he is, at the very least, not delirious. So far, his mind remains untouched by the fever. A good sign, they all figure.

Silence returns, but as she ascends back up the stairs, Astrid can't help but notice that the pieces on the board game Ruff and Lout are playing with are no longer being moved.

Returning up to the loft, Toothless greets her with a purr and Astrid gives him a small smile. She replaces the pitcher on its original spot next to the empty mug and then grabs the cloth she'd left on Hiccup's forehead.

Dipping it into the bowl of water standing on that same stool, Astrid stops mid-action when she hears movement. Out of the corner of her eyes, she notices him rolling onto his side away from her. He lets out a deep sigh followed by more coughing. Hiccup nuzzles into his pillow and settles again for the time being.

Astrid relaxes, she isn't even aware she tensed up. Wetting the cloth again, she wrings it out a bit and places it on his temple instead.

"Toothless, I'm going downstairs. You'll watch over him, won't you?" Though she knows she doesn't even need to ask, Toothless still gives her a croon before placing his head down on the bed to fix his gaze on his Rider as Astrid joins the others again.

Ruffnut watches her descend, a frown present on her face. Snotlout doesn't seem to mind that he needs to wait on her next move.

The quiet continues until Astrid takes a seat at the table where Fishlegs and Tuffnut are already sitting at.

She waits. She knows there is something Ruffnut wants to talk about the moment she stops playing her game with Snotlout.

Astrid even sits down on the chair with her front facing the other and looks at her. It is her way of asking "what's up?"

"It's weird, right?" Ruffnut starts now that Astrid has taken a seat. Snotlout, Fishlegs, and Tuff all look at her.

"We know Hiccup's gonna be just fine. He's pretty much indestructible at this point anyway. And yet..." Her voice trails off.

"We're still worried to death?" Snotlout finishes for her.

"Yeah, Fishlegs even says he's doing better than yesterday," Tuffnut speaks up as well and Fishlegs nods to confirm it. Hiccup is already on the mend.

"He should be back up on his feet soon."

"And yet..." Snotlout mutters. His eyes briefly travel up to the loft, though he can't see Hiccup.

Standing back up again, Astrid makes her way to the back of the hut, where most of Hiccup's stuff is kept. She can feel the eyes of the other Riders on her.

Toothless' several different prosthetic tailfins are hanging on that wall, but for as much of an eyecatcher as they are, Astrid's attention is only on one chest.

"What're you doing?" Snotlout asks, his chin resting on the table in front of him.

"Searching for something Hiccup can do? Something to lighten the mood." Astrid replies, crouching down in front of the chest and opening it up. She briefly rolls her eyes at how disorganized it is and begins to search through it. Within seconds she still finds what she is looking for, despite the mess inside.

It is a little book he uses for his sketches. Or rather, one of the many he uses that way. Hiccup went through a lot of them in just one year.

Flipping it open, she wants to see if this one hasn't been filled in yet. Something instantly strikes her as odd, however.

The drawings inside of this one were made by a kid.

They are still good. Very good. And the only conclusion Astrid can come to is that these are Hiccup's from when he was still very little and he kept them. So Hiccup is someone who can get a little nostalgic, who knew?

Struck by nostalgia herself, she keeps looking through them, sitting down on the wooden floor. She is engrossed. Many of them look vaguely familiar to her.

She halts when she comes upon one particular drawing in the book.

Astrid remembers having a dear friend once. She is reminded of her now, of little Unn that never got to grow up, as she stares at what appears to be a hand-drawn portrait of a little girl with baby blue eyes and shoulder-length black hair.

Though this had clearly been drawn by a very young individual, she can recognize these strokes from anywhere. This one had been drawn by Hiccup, too. A long, long time ago. Gods, she never knew he still had any of these. Let alone this one.

He drew this when they were... What? Four? Five years old? They are both eighteen now. How has he managed to keep these for so long?

Astrid stares quietly at the picture. A dull aching makes its way into her chest and there is a hitch in her breath, her eyes are wet. She hasn't thought of her childhood friend in a long while.

"Hey, I know her." Astrid didn't expect anyone to be standing behind her, but she doesn't jump when Snotlout speaks up out of the blue.

He kneels next to where she is sitting and Astrid allows him to take a look.

"She's-um... Ugh, what's her name."

"Unn. She was..." Astrid helps him remember, but she doesn't get much farther beyond that. It is strange, she didn't have any problem saying it before. Why is it suddenly so hard?

"One of the ones that didn't make it." Snotlout returns the favor and finishes that thought for her.

"Yeah." She takes the book back when he hands it to her. She can hear footsteps approaching.

"Oh man, talk about a blast to the past," Ruffnut mutters, her hands on her hips.

Taking a glance over her shoulder, Astrid sees that Tuffnut and Fishlegs are there as well.

"Are there any others?" Fishlegs asks hopefully. It is the timidest he has sounded in a long while.

Astrid briefly skims through the rest of this particular sketchbook and she shakes her head. There are no more.

"Should we check if any of Hiccup's other old notebooks are in there?" Snotlout asks and for once he isn't suggesting looking through someone else's stuff just for the fun of it.

"Guys, I was only looking in here to give Hiccup something to do next time he wakes up. You know how antsy he can get when he's stuck in bed for too long. I'm not randomly looking through his stuff." Is Astrid's reply when a simple "no" would've sufficed.

"Yeah, I know. I was just curious, you know." Snotlout shrugs in response. He is uncharacteristically muted today, as they all are.

It is quiet for another moment before Ruffnut speaks up again. Astrid almost feels compelled to look at the picture of her friend again.

"It brings you back, doesn't it?" She asks her friends, her tone solemn.

"So many of us didn't make it." Fishlegs happens to mention and saying it out loud somehow makes their mood even more dreary than it already is. If that is at all possible.

"I've never really thought about it before, but there are a lot of kids on Berk now. Compared to... You know." Tuffnut reminisces quietly.

"Before the war ended," Ruffnut adds and her brother nods.

It was such a change, one that happened so slow and yet so fast. With how lively Berk is now, it is sometimes hard to remember what it was like before the dragons had come to live with them, before the one responsible for so much heartbreak had been dethroned. And this change, they all know who was responsible for it.

The Riders are all quiet for another moment of reflection. They are all thinking of the same person.

It is odd. Sometimes they still have moments in which they just look at each other and ask "why did we ever dislike this guy?" as soon as Hiccup leaves the room.

"Why weren't we friends before?"

"Why did it take us so long?"

The past three years of friendship did muddle their memories just a tad bit, but this brings it all right back.

They used to dislike Hiccup because he was the weird one. They disliked him because the adults did. They disliked him because he was sure to be the next one to leave them.

And now look at them.

Hiccup is upstairs in bed suffering from an illness he has had before and would recover from again. He is doing fine. He is angry at himself, but otherwise, he is doing just fine.

And yet, they worry. They worry so much they spent most of the last two days here in his hut. The evening of the third day is drawing near.

Upstairs, Hiccup starts coughing and it doesn't let up for a good couple of seconds.

"I'm fine, Bud." The coughing fit wakes him up and the Riders hear Hiccup reassure his dragon, but still, Fishlegs is already running up the stairs just to make sure if there isn't any help that he may need.

"Fish-Fishlegs? Fishlegs, I'm fine! It was just a cough, I'm fine." The rest of them, still on the ground floor, relax again.

Look at how much has changed.

When they were kids, they were afraid to care and their effort not to had lead to them barely caring for him at all. Now that they finally do, they are too afraid to lose him.


End file.
